I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
