he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
