I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
