You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
