He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Randomize
