Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
