I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
