So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
