she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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