Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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