I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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