I want you more than these girls want KFC
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
