he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
the liver wants what the liver wants
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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