So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
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