1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I want to make a zoo with you.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
