i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
