I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
