But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
