and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
