I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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