No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
