Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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