Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
