You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
