actually, I'm a sock model
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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