everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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