She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
