do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize