I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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