The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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