the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
