just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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