That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
