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so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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