So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
