I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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