Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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