I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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