I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
