people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
