so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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