i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
