Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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