I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
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