Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
