No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
