And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
