Pappa wants mamma naked
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
