From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
