YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
