think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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