woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
