I want to make a zoo with you.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My vagina just recognized that song.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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