found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
