Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
