sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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