brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
