Well douche your snatch and let's go!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
