We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
