Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
