I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
