the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
