your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
